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A Relationship Fairy Tale With A Realistic Twist

There is nothing wrong with dreaming big and  having wants. However, if what you want is love, then life has to teach you a few things about the love you seek. Sometimes life plays tricks on you, such as hiding what you desire right in front of you in plain sight.  Kind of like a guy friend that really likes you and is willing to spend all of his free time with you. Going to the movies, to the mall, letting you meet his friends. I had that once. I used to have a guy that was sweet and kind, generous and humble, intelligent and fun loving. But I could not see him for who or what he was to me and for me then. You see, I was living in a fairy tale! A sitcom starring stubbornness and discontent.

 I have forgotten him for a while. Out of sight, out of mind I presume. He was the guy that I told all of my secrets to. The one that stayed on the phone for hours with me just to hear me complain about guys that I wanted to be with but were no good. I mean he was a friend. That is all, nothing more.

Everyone around me used to say "Girl he is cute!" and I would be like, yeah he is okay but he doesn't talk, he just sits there silently while I do all the talking. I had to poke and prod him to hold a conversation with me. I need a man that can make me laugh! Someone that I can sit and listen to. A conversation requires dialog, and he did not give me that dialog.

So, eventually he moved on and I was alone and friendless, in search of the perfect guy who was the life of the party! And boy did I find them! I mean, they were fun to be around, funny, always talking and I was always laughing! Now this is the kind of man I could see myself with. That was what I wanted. However, with the flamboyant personality also came insecurities and trust issues, hatred and selfishness, and those were character flaws I definitely could not deal with.

So, after of few of those relationships, I began to reflect on them and wondered what I did wrong. Then I remembered him. The soft spoken gentleman who showed me respect, listened to me when I thought I had something to say and wanted to be heard. He was the guy who never sought attention from anyone. He was a man so confident he need not boast. Even though he did not have much, he shared what he had. He was my friend. I also remembered when he finally got the nerve to ask me out on a date, and I played it off. I dismissed his gesture as if it were dust on my shoes. I also remember the day when we found out that we had the exact same birthday in the exact same year! Coincidence? Hmmmm. And all of the friends that I complained to back then about not being able to find anyone. They would always mention him "What about Him?? He seems to really like you!" All of those clues and I could not see it. I could not see love because I was blinded by selfishness. Oh if I knew then, what I knew now, maybe life would have been different for me. What if? I could have, should have, would have...

I had to find him, to see if there was ever a chance again. I got his phone number and called...voicemail. Oh well, I left a message, somehow hoping that he has thought about me after all these years. But he has moved on with his life and has found someone... a woman who could recognize his goodness and was not blinded by stubbornness. Although my heart is heavy, I cannot help but feel a bit relieved to know that he is being loved because he deserves a fairy tale, one that is happily ever after!

God may not always give you what you WANT, but He will always give you what you NEED.  You have to remove your stubbornness that blinds you from the love that God has for you. I thank God that the man He created me from is the man he wants for me, and that NOW, my needs are his wants for my life.